Wedding Planning MAYhem: Part II
Now that we know what’s important, we need to decide who’s important. You don’t need to hurry up and pick out your wedding party (unless of course you already have!), but you do need to decide who will be playing an active role in planning, who will be making decisions alongside you and your fiance, and, in turn, who will play a financial role in your wedding.
I am not saying the people outside of this “circle” are not important. It is just important that you outline these roles in the beginning. While it is your big day as a couple, it is also a very special day to your friends and family.
Emotions are high during this process and you want to make sure everyone understands their part. So often you hear stories about how the mother of the groom wishes she was more involved or felt intentionally left out. Nine times out of ten, this is not purposeful, but instead happens as a result of who naturally fell into the planning circle. If you come to an understanding early, you will not risk offending anyone or leaving someone on the sidelines, especially those most special to the two of you. This doesn’t mean you have to follow every instruction of those in your wedding planning circle. If you lay the groundwork ahead of time, it will make the planning process much easier.
You no longer have to fret over others feelings because they have an understanding of your bigger picture. If you have this conversation early, you will know ahead of time what is important to you future mother-in-law. You will find out how she wants to be included, outside of her pocket book. Maybe that means she is there when you pick out your dress or tux, or maybe she attends the tasting with you and your parents. Or maybe invite her on the site tour of your potential venues or to meet with your florist. While I have used your mother-in-law as an example, this is can be applied to any close friends or family who will be in your circle. Now that you have established boundaries, you can allow the opportunity to be more involved in the planning process.
You and your fiance should not have to dance around everyone else’s feelings while planning your wedding. However, when there is heightened emotion, this dance often begins before you have a chance to notice. If you create your circle early and start the conversation with your wedding planning posse, then things should be smooth sailing moving forward.